Water sports: a mermaid comparison and highlighting the difficulties for tiny unsteady dinosaurs

Kayaking is the pinnacle of water sports. Why swim when you could encase the lower half of your body in plastic with a neoprene lid and propel yourself through white water between strategically placed rocks and logs? Seriously, it’s fantastic. Aside from the fact that you no longer have legs. It’s as if your legs have morphed into streamlined, pleasantly coloured plastic. But hey, not having legs worked out fine for mermaids, why not for people? And we’ve even dealt with the whole not being able to breathe underwater thing by making our mermaid fins in the shape of a boat that floats. Kayaking simply cannot get any better than being compared favourably against a mermaid.

There is just one problem with kayaking: there is no boat tiny enough for D’mitry. And even if there was, it would be necessary to build a custom paddle to accommodate his tiny little T-rex arms. But these problems are nothing new to us. Just think about our hiking adventures, or overseas travel. In fact, on most of our adventures D’mitry resides in my pocket or backpack until something awesome happens in which case he surfaces to pose for a photo. It’s not a bad life for our favourite little dinosaur, even if I’m the one doing all the fun things while he waits for the opportune moment to pose for the perfect photo. At least he gets to participate and share the joy with me.

But back to kayaking. I’ve always been a winter person, what with skiing and the realisation that no one likes the cold which leaves most hiking trails almost empty and therefore entirely mine. However in the wake of the previous few winters and a consistently drained bank account from lift tickets I have thought to myself “I should take up something cheaper… Like surfing…” (Stay tuned for updates this summer about my surfing adventures. Or perhaps misadventures. I suppose we will find out which one soon). But considering I live close to several rivers and somewhere in the vicinity of two hours from the beach kayaking was a much better option although surfing is definitely still on the table. The thing about kayaking is that I capsize a lot. Usually on purpose. I know that sounds like a poorly thought up lie but it’s true. All it takes is one accidental capsize and I’ll be in the water for most of the day. This displeases D’mitry who would prefer to stay dry but short of keeping him in a dry bag, this is impossible although I always make sure he is secure so he doesn’t end up at the bottom of a river which, I imagine, is much worse than the mud puddle I found him in.

Hopefully there’ll be some pictures of D’mitry on a river trip soon. So far I’m still trying to work out how to photograph tiny unsteady dinosaurs from a whitewater kayak without either losing the dinosaur to the murky water or dropping the camera and ruining it. Simple tasks are much more difficult when your lower body resembles a streamlined floating mermaid bum.


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